By Lindsey Boan, a longtime Alabama resident now living in New York CityI spent 33 years of my life almost to the day, living in Alabama. I know what it feels like to be woman in Alabama, and I know what it feels like to be a woman from Alabama in very different kind of place.When I moved to New York, I didn’t know what people would think of me, but I decided weeks before I put that first piece of clothing in my suitcase that I didn’t care. I had to find honest and spiritual people. I spent my 20s convincing myself I was a strong, independent woman and could be a good Southern Christian wife. And to find the right guy, I was willing to sacrifice strong independence and aspirations of a bigger life (and come to find out, my morals and willingness to look the other way). Eventually I began to realize Christianity and what I knew of religion wasn’t panning out as I had expected.But what was I doing wrong?I dressed right. I participated in all the right events, and turned … [Read more...] about Lindsey Boan: I had to leave Alabama to be true to myself
Things i know to be true
Illustration: Jeni Zhen In “Both Sides of a Breakup,” the Cut talks to exes about how they got together and why they split up. Lena and Joe, both 42, knew each other from high school and reunited as adults, each with their own grown-up baggage. Lena: Joe and I went to high school together in New Jersey and then we reconnected on Facebook about 20 years later. What I remembered about him back then was that he was kind of like a crazy person, but in a lovable way. He was very volatile and emotional … like I remember he ran his car into a car wash after a girl broke up with him. There was also something about a microwave being thrown out a window. But he wasn’t a total fuckup. He was from a really nice family and he was pretty smart. And he was also a real “guy” — tall and muscular and running with a tough crowd, always kinda covered in dirt and wearing a ripped T-shirt. So he didn’t really fit into a box. Back then I found him … [Read more...] about Both Sides of a Breakup: The Rumors About Him Turned Out to Be True
Even before she turned 17 in December, the singer Billie Eilish had accomplished nearly all of the modern prerequisites for pop stardom and then some: her homemade songs, written only with her older brother, had been streamed more than one billion times on digital platforms; she’d played increasingly large sold-out concerts to delirious fans (and their patient parents); appeared with Ellen DeGeneres and Jimmy Fallon; and collected some 15 million followers on Instagram. Among those legions, many had already started to adopt the musician’s striking visual aesthetic: performatively dead eyes (bored, at best), hair dyed in shades of electric blue and pale purple, an all-baggy anti-silhouette – a collective middle finger to the strictures of teen-pop sex appeal. While Eilish still draws befuddled stares from those outside of her demographic, her mere presence has been known to get a certain subset of teenager hyperventilating – and spending hundreds of dollars on … [Read more...] about Billie Eilish: ‘I want to be able to mourn for XXXTentacion, I don’t want to be shamed for it’
Photo: Valeria Tsolova / 500px/Getty Images Dear Polly, I will never be who I want to be. Okay, maybe that’s a bit dramatic. But then again, that’s honestly how I feel right now — like all my sneaking feelings of being an impostor, of not being smart enough or strong enough or confident enough to get what I want in life, are becoming demonstrably true, and not just in my head any longer. It’s impostor syndrome, but I really am an impostor and people are just now figuring it out. I have a great job, a boss-lady job, at which I am performing only adequately. This is not just in my head; at my recent annual review, my boss said I am “struggling.” He is often disappointed in my answers and my follow-through. I am always behind, short of answers, barely keeping up. I don’t remember all the things I’m supposed to manage. I delegate projects and then forget I delegated them. I feel sluggish, stupid, I struggle to make even easy decisions. I … [Read more...] about ‘I Will Never Be Who I Want to Be’
INDIANAPOLIS – It’s all there for the Purdue Boilermakers, a road to the Final Four that looks navigable assuming the Boilermakers don’t get waylaid by a dangerous pothole from Indianapolis. But let’s assume Purdue doesn’t go ker-klunk against Butler, a No. 10 seed looming as the Boilermakers’ potential opponent in the Round of 32 in Detroit. Let’s look at that game prudently, at this whole 2018 NCAA tournament bracket prudently, and let’s say what we see: And we see Purdue making its longest NCAA tournament run in almost 20 years. That doesn’t mean anything, mind you. The NCAA tournament is a weird place, a place where prudence isn’t permitted and where Purdue hasn’t had much luck. And ultimately, one way or another, this whole March Madness thing can hinge heavily on luck. For example: It was bad luck in 1994 when Purdue’s Glenn Robinson scored 44 points against Kansas in the Sweet 16 but then suffered a bizarre … [Read more...] about Doyel: Is Purdue’s NCAA tournament draw too good to be true?